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In this new episode, “When the dark side dominates” the author list ten things that deeply annoys him when plays Fifa. Him and almost all of us…
When the dark side dominates!
The fact of being a big fan of Fifa does not make me blind to any problems that the series has. Problems will always exist, but I’m not going too in that line, my focus today is to list the ten things that get me mad on Fifa, and when I say get me mad I’m not exaggerating. I’m the type of “choleric” player! While some of these things happen to me I scream, I kick and punch something, if there’s nothing around, I punch myself and throw something through the window. If I do not do this, I have a heart attack. But it is over soon.
Some of these cases are not exactly proved mistakes, but I do not care about proof, it is my feeling when I’m playing and no one dare to say anything opposite in these moments.
Want to know what pisses me off? Come and see if you do not agree with some of these:
1 – Advantage
Who was the unfortunate that programmed the advantage rule in Fifa? Surely he knows nothing about football, must have been an internship who wanted to write something about baseball and they sent him eventually to program the part of the advantage rule on Fifa. That is what happens. HUNDREDS of times I have been harmed due to a non-existent advantage or worse, I was alone with the ball facing the goalkeeper and then the referee decides to ignore the advantage rule just to make me mad. I know that when he gives is always offside, has the line there to prove, but it is not the case, but in a passive offside, I have not passed the ball to the offside player. Even when I go running with a single player if I pass forward for myself (which gives me more speed as I am without the ball ) , the brainless ref think I threw the ball to a guy who ‘re not close ! Give me patience because if you give me strength I’ll kill one.
2 – Substitutions
Why, with all the gods, that takes huuuuge delay in replacements? Why the animation of the fourth ref raising the board, the players clapping, chatting with another player and everything that has no function and that we are not allowed to skip? Is it needed? Of course! To irritate Silvinho. Surely I have an old enemy who is doing this to screw me. It gets worse when playing offline against the computer / console. What is the purpose of these three straight substitutions (could not be all at once), the machine already 6 goals down and 85th (40 second time)? Just to annoy me. You are there in the greatest excitement and here it comes! Plays an absurd substitution, without reason. The game restarts and here it comes again. Seriously! Sometimes you can even hear the console laughing when it happens.
These non sense substitutions can make us desperate.
3 – Rain/Snow
Why snow? NOBODY likes to play with rain and snow, so why force us to this type of weather that spoils everything. In Offline we can configure, then why not in on line? When the game begins and I see the points of rain I want to give up. In the snow the ball just stops. Passes are about luck. It is bad for both teams, so why they have an option to leave the game bad? Absurd! I’ll make a petition so you can choose games always in dry weather. PES 14 will not have rain and I personally appreciate this.
4 – Non sense fouls
I am controlling a player, and the ref gives an absurd foul of another player in my opponents who do not even have the ball? Seriously! Want to take me down? And why not give these faults for me too? In the box so I’m in doubt between letting the guy go dribbling my whole defence because any movement I make I can already hear the prick blowing the whistle scoring a penalty against me. Thief! Do you want something more absurd? What nonsense is that when you are holding the stick up and to the side to score from free kick and the ref stops everything and says the wall moved? How did it move? It did not! Also in offline the console controls the wall, how did it walk? Seriously, if it was to become more realistic then makes the coach enter the field and make the judge denies a goal … oh wait …no ideas.
5 – Blow the whistle
That last counter attack, end of the first or second half. There is a clear rule: my opponent has one last chance to score, but I don’t, the judge with 100% guarantee will blow the whistle as soon as I have coming out to attack or if I go running alone against the goalkeeper. It is lethal; he blows and ends the game. I feel like that he has ended up once before 90th just to prevent me to counter attack. I even filmed some cases, cannot be a coincidence, it is personal!
6 – Opponent’s rebound
If I’m pressing, or if there is a cross into the area and it happened to clear it anyway kicking or punching, whatever it may be weak or strong. It is well known where the ball will land exactly: to his player. What’s this? Should not be random? How can ALWAYS be him? I can’t do anything! That’s why I lose!
7 – One more step
Have an explanation for that, after I press shoot, my players have to take a four more steps? I understand that when a player has a very weak foot he will prefer to shoot with the good leg, then I press shoot and he walks one more step, OK. But four more? It is clear that an opponent will come and steal the ball! It is hard to get a free space when we play against the beasts around, then when it comes, you shoot and your player does not answer! I curse the whole family of the player, which do not have fault, do they EA?
8 – Fair Play? No, thanks
You’re losing, the game stole you, and your opponent comes and humiliates you with a rainbow flick, followed by a ball between legs, and instead of shooting he comes back and skill one more time… AAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I go crazy! The eyes just see rage and you only think about: for GOD’S SAKE let me get this guy with both feet at the height of his chest! I want to break him! Why can’t you? You can’t! It is very rare to get something like this; the guy will always pass and escape. Should have an option “Gore On” where you press a button and your player flew straight to his neck, breaking it in half! You get a red! Yes! Fair play? No! But my high pressure would thank to see the bastard on the ground.
9 – Flash FC
They can say that is part of the game, you have to learn how to defend against it, it happens in real life, none of this will change the fact that I hate players that don’t play. They pass the ball until you put under pressure and ultra offensive, your players go up and what does he do? Throw a top trough ball and attack with Walcott, Agbonlahor, Lavezzi and all sorts of hellish pacers, which get you pants on hands and score a goal. You shoot hundreds of balls and are not able to score because he plays with 10-0-0 and in one attack wins the game. I hate playing with people like that. I really hope that this huge advantage of pacers end in Fifa 14, because if it is real, Kenya should win the world cup every 4 four years.
10 – I hate you!
In all of these cases and problems that can happen, this is at the top of the food chain, giving reason for me to send an electric shock 1000 voltz for my opponent. It’s the guy who scores once, maybe twice, and abdicates to play. He takes the ball to defense and passes from one side to the other. If you don’t pressure, he stops and keeps ball juggling. You go and he runs to the sideline, there pass for the other side. Is this a game? NO! That is cowardice! I understand that the fault is only partially the other player, he’s just using the feature that the game allows, but that does not mean I have to like it, and it deeply annoys me. In the tournaments that I play live, I always check if there is a rule that denies it. If not, I do not participate, simple as that. Do you do this? Well, I hate you!
Of course most of these points are considered normal and there is nothing to do. Here now, relaxed, I understand that EA is not really wanting to screw me, but in the game, on the hot momentums… Well, my neighbors must think pretty funny my yelling here, even though knowing that I live alone…
Every game I like it’s because it makes me angry, provokes me, and challenges my ability! If a game is warm and does not cause strong emotional reactions, I get annoyed and stop playing, so maybe I will never stop playing online soccer.
And you, what pisses you off? The guy that pauses without doing anything just to annoy you? The one that forces you to see the entire introduction? The guy who gives up when it takes 4 goals in the first half? What pisses you off?